Rick's Personal Blog
2002-07-01 - 5:34 p.m.
The bust summer has gone into full swing. I sit here with my sun burnt body ailing as temperatures outside go into the 90’s. I know for my friends Eden and Ducky in Arizona that is a cold day, but here, it’s close to Hades.
Nightdragon had asked me to give a detailed account of the baseball tournaments No.2 was in over the last week. It was a double elimination tourney, and we played four games. We won the first 2, and lost the second 2. The second game played was against the Notorious Team From The South And for the first time in the 3 years this team has been together, we beat them 9-5.
We thought we were cruising. But the coach got too conservative for the last 2 games, and used kids for pitching who hadn’t pitched in months, or all season. He did this in an attempt to save the better pitching for later in the tournament. He was banking on our bats to give us a good enough lead to carry us. But he underestimated something; the pitching and the hitting of the teams we faced. They lit us up like a Christmas tree, and it was over yesterday afternoon. By the time he did bring our better pitching in, we were already too far behind.
We have 3 more tourneys before the summer ends, but for now we have a 2 week break. For the 4th of July, we are going down to Cincinnati to take in a Red’s game, and go to Ault Park again for the Fireworks. This is our 4th year doing this, and we all look forward to it.
My Stress seems to be tapering off. I still have trouble sleeping without medication, but not as much. I have to wonder if all the stress I was under brought out something that has always been there. I think it is quite possible that I have been mildly depressed with a Generalized Anxiety Disorder for perhaps many years now. I am really sensitive to stressful situations, and have never behaved well when subject to them, beside the fact that I am always generally tense. I never noticed it really because I have acclimated myself to it. But it has always annoyed those around me, and yet I’ve never really understood why. I’m going to see my therapist tomorrow, and ask him what he thinks.
Cheryl lost a friend today. I’ve been saying since I started this journal that she has been isolating herself. Today she and a friend of 17 years officially broke off contact. It would suffice to say that outside of me and the kids, she really doesn’t have anyone, nor does she want anyone. This was the last friend she had from when we lived in Cleveland, and now she has no one. I feel bad for her. This one has been brewing for years, and I saw it coming for a long time. I hurt for her, but at the same time understand why it happens. She is over-sensitive to everything. She has no skin. Everyone walks around her on eggshells, and it is a stressful relationship to have. Anyone who tries to be her friend; she begins to avoid them.
Many don’t understand my relationship with her. To be honest, a lot of the time I don’t either. All I know is that we are to far invested in each other to separate, right now anyway. Our relationship isn’t bad either. We actually get along rather well. It’s just hard living with someone who seems to expect the worst of everyone, and everything.
Yet I carry on… hoping…
Later,
Rick
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