Rick's Personal Blog
2002-07-09 - 6:42 p.m.
Today I started on Paxil. Something I’ve not really wanted to talk about much, but I have been depressed for a while and anxious as well. I don’t know why, maybe its denial, but I’ve finally realized that I have to get a grip on things. The class I took really just intensified a problem that was already there.
So I’m going to do this therapy to try and get a better grip on my emotions. I’ve heard just about every horror story possible. One friend was afraid for me because he had a bad experience with it. Two different women I talked to said it had opposite effects on them.
I took the first pill at 8:30 this morning. At first I felt kind of tired, but I didn’t sleep well last night, so that could be why. My appetite was low today. My sex drive was definitely up. (No pun) Later today, just after lunch, I had a surge of energy. It was hard describe, but it seemed to be a combination of all emotions at once. Weird.
I’m sure this is not any indication of how this is going to go. Overall, I feel fine, and I got one heck of a lot of work done today. I was definitely more focused; so far so good.
I have a story to tell about some local “Little League” corruption that happened in my son’s baseball league, but I’ll save that for tomorrow.
I may not be myself for a while, I really don’t know. So I think it is important that I document what is going on so that I have some frame of reference. The truth be told; I have not felt like writing at all for a long time. I have even had a lot to write about, but just haven’t felt like it. I have dedicated myself to this journal. The problem is that I have gotten to be friends with many here. When I have problems, I don’t want to chronicle them here because I don’t want anyone to worry. This is one of the drawbacks to Diaryland.
BUT… it is my journal, and most of you don’t know me from Adam. Alicewonders once told me that she does this for her, not for her readers, and that is the truth. It has to be for me, or I may as well quit.
Later,
Rick
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